Man’s Inhumanity to Man as Exemplified by the 7am Car Horn Melt Down
September 8th, Brooklyn
One week to album release.
The album countdown is well and truly on. ‘Dream Your Way Out of This One’ will be available worldwide from Friday September 15th. My Irish tour begins in Bray, next Thursday. The Official Irish Release Party will take place at Coughlan’s in Cork on September 29th.
For now, I’m in Brooklyn. It is a beautiful sunny morning. I took a run in the park and did some stretches down by the lake. Me and the swans and the geese and the running and cycling all the time people. I was feeling all calm and Zen, but then I coincided my run home with the assholes addicted to car horn parade. Man’s inhumanity to man as exemplified by the 7am Car horn festival.
“Relax would ya?”
People honking their horns at cars waiting for pedestrians to cross. How dare you slow down my commute. “Why would you stop to let the human offspring cross? “Run over those children. Kill. Beep. I. Important. Honk. Honk.
“Fucking relax would ya?”
Worry not. I have a solution. People get to use their car horn once a day. Thereafter they pay for the privilege. A simple sliding scale. $1 for your second beep. $5 for your third honk. And so on. The guy determined to have a heart attack, honking at the car that wouldn’t simply drive through the occupied pedestrian crossing. Well, his car would be repossessed to pay his honking bill.
Tomorrow he’d have to walk through the park to work.
And then he’d be all Zen and relaxed like me.
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